i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
