I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
