I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
