I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
