Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
