it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize