all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
