I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
