My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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