no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
