Where is the hickey?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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