this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
