Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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