Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
