my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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