Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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