I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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