I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
