I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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