I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
