She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
