Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
