Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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