two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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