Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
