would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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