Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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