How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize