I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
