who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
