How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just saw a hot homeless man
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
