Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
