Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
