yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
