my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize