Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
