what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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