I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
