I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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