Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
