well you can't waste a boner
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize