did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
