literally had 100 drinks last night.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
