I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
