Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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