I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
