I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
