haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
