either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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