If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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