i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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