Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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