Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
my liver is dry heaving
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
