She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
