...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
