Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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