im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
