Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
50% drunk capacity currently
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
