Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
where are my eyebrows?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
