Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
