I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
