we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
